Interpersonal Communication Skills - I Is For...

We are launching a series about communication that focuses on family interaction, rather than on workplace dynamics...

Of course, many tips and guidelines that help you develop family relationships can be carried over to the workplace environment. Learning to get along with the most important people in your life can help you get along with others, most of whom don’t play a major role. We have so many communication ideas and so much relationship advice that once again we are starting an alphabetical series. However, we don’t promise to handle the letters in strict alphabetical order, nor even to do all of them.

I is for inquisitive. This can be a good quality. For example, when your adolescents change their friends or their behavior it’s important to know what’s going on. New friends may mean new opportunities to get involved with drugs or other disreputable activities. A sudden drop in their grades may indicate the same problems or the onset of depression. You really should keep tabs on what is going on. But don’t overdo it. Grilling your kids excessively leads to resentment and information hiding. You don’t have the right to know everything that’s going on in your child’s or your partner’s life. You do have the right and the obligation to know if they are facing dependency issues and to act accordingly, the sooner the better. In other words, you can be inquisitive, but don’t be an inquisitor.

The eyes have it.

And now for some of the things you want to avoid.

I is for idiot. Don’t be an idiot; remove that word from your vocabulary. Even if your kids do something really, really stupid and sooner or later most of them will, don’t call them idiots. That won’t solve the problem and will only make them turn off their hearing. Please note, by no means am I saying that you should accept such behavior. But don’t be idiotic in your use of language; they will react to your language instead of reacting to your proposed solution.

Inflated can mean hot air.

I is for inflated. Don’t have an inflated opinion of yourself. Remember the fable of the frog and the bull. You may be able to convince your tiny tots that you are the smartest, the strongest, and the best-looking parent around. But when they get older, and really not all that much older, your saying something doesn’t make it happen. On a related subject avoid verbal inflation. As the discussion (especially dispute) goes on and on don’t keep raising the stakes.