Interpersonal Communication Skills - H Is For...

We are launching a series about communication that focuses on family interaction, rather than on workplace dynamics...

Of course, many tips and guidelines that help you develop family relationships can be carried over to the workplace environment. Learning to get along with the most important people in your life can help you get along with others, most of whom don’t play a major role. We have so many communication ideas and so much relationship advice that once again we are starting an alphabetical series. However, we don’t promise to handle the letters in strict alphabetical order, nor even to do all of them.

H is for help. We all need help. It is normal to help your family, and to expect help from them. Sometimes the help can be a kind word or an expression of confidence. Sometimes the help can be in the form of a check, but remember this is not always possible nor even desirable. Henrietta (Hetty) Green was an American financer who lived over one hundred years ago. She was known for being a miser. She did write a check for over $1 million to buy short-term bonds and help out the City of New York in the Panic of 1907. On the other hand when her son Ned broke his leg she took him to a charity hospital. Someone recognized her (there weren’t many women financers in those days) and she stormed out of the hospital. To make a long story short, poor little Ned ended up with a cork leg. She wouldn’t spend $150 for an operation that she needed. Talk about how not to help your family or yourself.

Hetty Green, financial genius and cheapskate.

H is for heal. Let the wounds heal. Don’t rub in any salt, and don’t rub it in. We know that time does not heal all wounds (for example, Ned’s leg). But many wounds do heal. Encourage this process. Don’t be one of these people who won’t talk to such and such family members keeping the family tradition without even knowing what was the original reason for the tiff.

And now for some of the things you want to avoid.

Wolf howling, maybe at Wall Street.

H is for howl. Don’t howl. Keep your voice down. Once you start to yell the battle is almost over. Guess what, you didn’t win. If yelling is the norm in your house your kids will deal with problems by yelling. This way of dealing with the issues will make it hard for them to win their point, even if they get the satisfaction of emptying their lungs. You’re not a wolf (another subject, discussed elsewhere) so don’t howl.