Pitfalls In Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - T Is For...

We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...

Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We actually have a double series of articles for the letter T. The focus here is on tattle, temper, and them.

T is for tattle. Does anyone remember the first line of a childhood poem: Tattletale tit, your tongue will be slit. The second line goes: And all the dogs in the town, shall have a little bit. I haven’t heard that one in a long time, and I don’t think any of us knew the second line. Be that as it may, don’t tattle. Unless. Unless we are talking about criminal activity. For example, if someone has been seriously hurt don’t protect the perpetrators. But for regular activities don’t try to curry favor with the boss by saying that Tom has been out of the office a lot.

Don't be a tattle tale.

T is for temper. Watch your temper. You will get into big, big trouble by losing it. People won’t remember what you were complaining about, but they will remember that you couldn’t control yourself. Even if you were justified in what you were saying, the fact that you yelled it out effectively removed the possibility of convincing others. The temper issue has become worse over the years. You have all heard of road rage. Now nurses are high on the list of temper victims. If you are fuming about something that went wrong maybe write a furious letter but don’t send it. This basically good advice turns very dangerous when you write your letter on the computer. One absent-minded keystroke and your irate, perhaps irresponsible feelings can be transmitted in permanent form to many, many people. Then you will really have a good reason to lose your temper.

Learn young to watch your temper.

T is for them. Them. Doesn’t this pronoun sound innocuous? Well it isn’t always. Take a look at the following sentence: What could you expect from them? This statement could be a real example of racism, sexism, or other prejudice. Even if that was not at all what you had in mind. Be really careful; you may have a lot of explaining to do. To everybody, including to them.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.