My Relationship Articles
Pitfalls In Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - O Is For...
We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...
Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We center on obnoxious, obsequious, and obstructionist.
O is for obnoxious. Don’t be obnoxious. Ob means towards. And noxious means poisonous. So an obnoxious person is leaning towards the poisonous. Or perhaps asking to be poisoned. Get me straight. I am not advocating poisoning or otherwise dispatching obnoxious people. I’m not saying get them off the planet, I’m saying (along with almost everyone else, including plenty of people who qualify as obnoxious), get them out of my life. Is there a cure for obnoxiousness? There might be if only such people would realize that they are obnoxious. I remember one highly obnoxious woman who was our real estate agent when we were looking for our first house. After a couple of days I decided that under no circumstances would this individual ever get a penny commission from my pocket. Shortly after we bought a house I ceased seeing her name in the real-estate section of our local newspaper. Naively I figured that her obnoxiousness did her in career wise. Was this ever a case of wishful thinking. She moved to the big city and specialized in very expensive homes. I can only assume she traded in her obnoxiousness for being obsequious, our next word.
Learning how to deal with the obnoxious.
O is for obsequious. Fawns are for the woods. Don’t kneel to anybody. And don’t lick boots. You might get a licking, and end up getting the boot. I have worked as a sommelier (wine steward). While it is a service job, sommeliers are hardly known for being obsequious. Other, not always flattering, terms come to mind. Aren’t we all happy that the days of obsequious servants are over? At least most of us. Now if I could just get someone to scratch my back.
Obstruction Peak, Olympic National Park, Washington.
O is for obstructionist. Don’t be the one who gets in the way just for the pleasure of getting in the way. I don’t like doing things by consensus. A nay-sayer shouldn’t have the right to stop the music. And such people shouldn’t be put in the unfortunate position of having to vote yes to avoid obstructions. The best policy is for them to speak their mind and then everybody votes. Majority wins. Sounds good to me. Maybe we should try it sometime.
Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.