My Relationship Articles
Pitfalls In Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - N Is For...
We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...
Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We center on nag, name-dropper, and nondescript.
N is for nag. Nag, nag, nag. What a way to spend a marriage. Or should I say what a way to destroy a marriage? Or other family relationships. Try a scientific experiment. Make a list of what you are supposed to do as the naggee. Then go out and actually do those things. See if the nagger stops nagging. Actually your partner may be so surprised that the nagging stops. On the other hand the list may be renewed quicker than you can shake a stick. Make sure if you do shake a stick that no dirt gets on the carpet. Or you’ll be on the carpet. With a nagging headache. There’s another kind of nag, the one that never comes in when you select it in your infinite wisdom. The nag that three lengths ahead of the pack stops to smell the flowers, or more likely to defecate, when half your paycheck is on its nose. Do you feel like nagging it all the way to the glue factory?
I have these nagging goosebumps.
N is for name-dropper. Did you ever play Six Degrees of Separation? I’ve managed to put The Clintons (our son had a friend in elementary school whose father worked in a foreign consulate in Houston, Texas and knew them socially), Astronaut John Glenn (decades ago his brother came to our house for a renovation estimate), and even Joseph Stalin (a very good friend of mine from India had a cousin (I believe third but won’t swear to that in court) who was married to Stalin’s daughter, the one who ended up in the United States). Does this count as name dropping? None of these people ever knew me. To put it another way, if I were stuck at the airport without a ride home I couldn’t count on them. Especially not on Stalin who died in 1953 and to the best of knowledge never, ever set foot in a North American airport. Don’t drop names. It won’t get you very far. But if you are friends with name-droppers (who isn’t?) don’t drop them from your list. After all, they put you just one additional Degree of Separation away.
Finally a useful name dropper.
N is for nondescript. Nondescript means like there’s no description necessary. If you’re nondescript it’s like you’re there but nobody knows you’re there. Why should they? No reason to take notice of Nelly and Ned. Maybe they should start to drop names. Or at least drop the non in nondescript. Descript, like the missing the shun in description.
Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.