Pitfalls In Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - Continuing With M

We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...

Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We actually have a double series of articles for the letter M. The focus here is on manipulate, meddle, and mediocre.

M is for manipulate. Unless you are a chiropractor don’t go around manipulating people. This doesn’t mean that you have to put all your cards on the table right from the beginning. Is it possible to negotiate and to negotiate hard without manipulating anyone? I like to think so but maybe I’m just being naïve. Just remember, if you are pulling people’s strings sooner or later they are going to cut themselves free. And you’ll have to find new people to manipulate.

Watch out for that fall, it's a big one.

M is for meddle. Stay out of it. There is something so unpleasant about Mrs. (or Mr.) Buttinsky. If someone needs or wants your advice they will ask for it. A fellow I knew was out of work for a long time and was very unhappy about it. He was just as unhappy about the fact that so many of his friends had advice for him but none of it was concrete, the kind of information that could move things forward. Meddling is a kind of one-upmanship, I know better than you… Maybe you do and maybe you don’t. Show your mettle; don’t meddle.

M is for mediocre. I always feel terrible when I give back a test and students are happy with a low mark. Great, I got a D. They could have done better, they should have done better but they are satisfied with doing a very poor job. Think of the difference between two receptionists Martin and Marybelle. In answer to the same question “Did I get any calls over lunch?” Martin answered, “Yea, Max from Maximillian Industries called.” Marybelle answered, “Yea, Max from Maximillian Industries called. You better get back to him real soon, he sounds as mad as a wet hen.” Martin is mediocre, he did answer the question; but just barely. And Marybelle added value. She turned a phone call into an opportunity. Let’s hope that her company has a growth path for non-mediocre employees. And let’s hope that they can continue to fill jobs with people like Marybelle. And let’s hope that Martin takes it upon himself to cease being mediocre.

Not meat and okra, mediocre.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.