My Relationship Articles
Pitfalls In Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - L Is For...
We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...
Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We center on liar, listless, and loud-mouthed.
L is for liar. I hate liars. I am not going to tell you that I never lie, but I do hate liars (without hating myself.) Do they really think that we are that dumb to believe them? And when you lie, you have to work really hard to keep all your non-facts straight. Why work that hard to try to please someone who you don’t care for anyway? Not lying does not necessarily mean telling all and sundry all the hidden truths on a given subject. Blabbermouthery can get you in as much trouble as lying.
Have you ever seen a liar's pants on fire? Don't lie.
L is for listless. Listless is just another form of lying. Lying around waiting for the clock to strike 5:00 so you can go home or 10:30 (9:30) waiting to brush your teeth and go to sleep. Don’t be listless; make a list. Make a list of what you should be doing. You are allowed to break up this list into several categories including the what to do when you’re too tired to do anything the least bit difficult category. Like for 4:45 or 10:15. Items on this list still need to be taken care of but shouldn’t monopolize your bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed time, assuming that you have any. There are two benefits to this policy, if you proceed from the list to the actual activity. One: you get something done. Two: you are pleased with yourself because you actually get something done when you thought that you were too listless.
She's listless in the rain, will she shine with the sun?
L is for loud-mouthed. If those surrounding you aren’t hard of hearing there is no reason to be a loud mouth. And if they are hard of hearing it may be due to all the loud mouths in the surroundings. I recently cut back on my volume in the classroom; some students complained that I was too loud. Say what you have to say forcefully, but forcefully doesn’t mean blasting anyone’s eardrums. Of course with today’s generation used to placing a high-volume Ipod or some such thing right on top of their ear for hours at a time, don’t be surprised that you have to raise the volume just to be heard. One more thing: loud mouthed refers to a manner of speaking, as well as the volume itself. No contradiction, avoid both abuses.
Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.