Pitfalls In Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - B Is For...

We continue with our series about avoiding the pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...

Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. We know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do. But we do have suggestions focusing on what you should avoid, now continuing with the letter B.

Guiseppe Cesari, The Betrayal of Christ painting, 1596-97, Galleria Borghese, Rome.

B is for betray. There is no better, or we should say worse way, to blast a relationship than to betray a confidence. When people count on you, and you stab them in the back figuratively of course, you can say bye-bye to that relationship. What may haven taken years to develop can be destroyed in a matter of moments. It’s as simple as blabbing Betty Loves Barry.

B is for bickering. You know the type, the kind of person who always has to be right, even on the tiniest issues. Can you look in the mirror and truly say that’s not you? If like most of us you can’t, you have some relationship work to do. Start now. You may pay a price for bickering today. Please note. I’m not asking you to be spineless, to give in on everything.

Not all bigots are this obvious.

B is for bigot. Bigotry is still much more of a problem than most people realize. It’s not only a question of being a nasty, prejudiced person. Bigotry is also taking the easy way out, of not having to make the effort of finding out who someone really is but instead just putting him or her into neat, easy-to-understand categories. Let me give you an example from my teaching career. Over the decades I have had only two students from such and such an ethnic group. The first was a very lazy young lady; the second was a really dishonest young man. I get a lot of lazy students but not many who are really dishonest. So what should my attitude be if I get a third member of this group? The same as it should be for all my students, Let’s get to know each other and see how you work. In conclusion don’t be a bigot; let people earn your dislike. And remember, by not being prejudiced, by not being a bigot you may end up finding that someone from such and such a group is a fine person, and the feeling is mutual.

Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.