Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - T Is For...

We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...

Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter T. We actually have a double series of articles for the letter T. The focus here is on talk, teamwork, and thorough.

T is for talk. Talk it through. Don’t give people the silent treatment. If there is something on your mind, you may and should tell people about it. Don’t be shy but don’t be obnoxious about it. You must deal with the possibility that your ideas and wishes will not fly. But don’t give up before you even try. Of course, like most other advice you can overdo it. Know when to keep quiet. And when the boss is talking, shut up. You may even learn something. Stranger things have happened.

Don't only talk, listen.

T is for teamwork. This is a big one. Teamwork means that there are no stars. Don’t go it alone. I have written several books, some of which had co-authors but others did not. But in each and every case I was part of a team. I could not have done it alone and trying to do so would have led nowhere. If that far. One key aspect of teamwork is not keeping score. Don’t remind people when one of their suggestions didn’t quite work out. There are at least two reasons for this: They won’t want to come forward with ideas in the future. And they may have the nerve to remind you of your suggestions that didn’t quite work out.

Talk about teamwork.

T is for thorough. Don’t do things half way. Don’t stop or even slow down when your projects are ninety or ninety-five percent complete. Finish the job and do it thoroughly, completely. I used to like to strip and refinish furniture. There was always the temptation of putting the final coat on before the job was completely done. If I did so much of the preparatory work would be lost. People, including me, would see what was missing. Don’t finish before the job is really done and done right.