My Relationship Articles
Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - N Is For...
We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...
Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter L. The focus is on navigate, neat, and need.
N is for navigate. Know the waters at home, at work, or with friends and relations. It’s never easy to avoid the rocks and rapids of life. Everything may look like smooth sailing and then suddenly you have to steer as fast as possible to avoid a completely unexpected obstacle. It’s too bad that they don’t teaching elementary sailing, the life variety, starting in the lower grades. Actually they do, but it’s not on the official curriculum. Every time that you deal with a playground dispute: “It’s my turn, it’s my jump rope, they are my marbles and if you don’t play by my rules I’m going home” you are learning to navigate. Keep it up; this is a life-long process. And if you don’t believe me take a look in any senior citizen’s residence. They are still navigating.
Oh, for a good GPS.
N is for neat. I hate looking for stuff on my desk, under my desk, or around my desk. It’s worth your time and effort to neatify your surroundings. When people see how well-organized you are they will think that you know what you’re doing. Even if nothing is further from the truth. And a neat appearance can camouflage an ugly, messy personality. My guess is the neatest guy or gal in the police lineup is unlikely to be fingered as the ax-murderer. Is that neat?
Neatness starts young.
N is for need. “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” I never said that; the line is from People, Barbra’s Streisand’s 1964 signature song that helped put her on the cover of Time Magazine at the tender age of 22. So need must be a good thing. In fact to be a full person you need to need. But don’t look needy. And the surest way not to find a friend is to broadcast your need for one. If you need people in your heart you will behave differently than if you just need to be in a relationship, any relationship. Can you knead yourself into needing people? You certainly can try.