Building Relationships, Commitment, And Love - M Is For...

We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone...

Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter M. We actually have a double series of articles for the letter M. The focus here is on maintain, marketable, and measured.

M is for maintain. Maintain your relationships like you maintain your car. Would you go six months without an oil change? Don’t change your friend’s oil, I mean don’t change your friend’s car’s oil. Actually that might be a very appreciated gesture. But do get on the phone and find out what’s been happening in his or her life. I know that you have been busy. Everybody’s been busy. A short phone call won’t kill you. Actually in some parts of the world people, mostly militants and terrorists, have been killed by cell-phone-activated bombs. In other parts of the world people, mostly gangsters, have been killed by automobile-starter-activated bombs. Does that stop you from driving? Do what is necessary to maintain your relationships. Especially if they are with high- maintenance people.

I'd rather maintain relationships than maintain skateboards.

M is for marketable. They said it when I was growing up: Get yourself some marketable skills. It was good advice then, and it is good advice now. There’s a market out there and be sure that you have what it takes to take your place in it. Now this market changes, sometimes very fast. There can be a clear shortage of specialists in X but it does take time to get up to speed. Guess what happens when too many people try to become specialists in X. The market gets flooded. However, newly-minted X specialists shouldn’t despair. There is a real shortage of specialists in Y. At least for the present. Sometimes, in spite of what seems reasonable the market was never very good for a given specialty. The son of a friend of ours celebrated publishing his first technical article by leaving the field to go to law school. What was his field, cancer research. In spite of the potential glut of lawyers I understand that he is doing very well. But in the process we lost a cancer researcher. And did gain a lawyer.

These young people look very marketable. Let's see their resumes.

M is for measured. Make sure that your response is measured. In other words, let the punishment fit the crime. Somebody done you wrong? Don’t go overboard. Don’t stew. Provide a measured response, hopefully one that all parties can learn from. And remember, if you are into do-it-yourself projects, measure twice cut once. Take away the saw and that’s good advice for the non do-it-yourself world.