Love Around The World
Title: International Online Dating: Different Cultures, Different Challenges
By: Tim Zelmer
There was a time when the largest determining factor in any romantic relationship was proximity. The girl next door, down the street or on the other side of town was pretty much the extent of the options available for most single men. As travel became easier – and more necessary for work – after the Second World War, the field broadened and people from different states and even different countries began getting together. Still, however, proximity was the overriding factor in the vast majority of relationships. Letters and the occasional telephone call were all well and good, but it was difficult to sustain a relationship when there was only at best sporadic contact and no visual contact at all.
All of that changed, however, with the advent of the Internet, and the various ancillary technologies that have grown with it – such as voice communication, instant messaging and webcams. Communication with people on the other side of the country – or the other side of the world – is now not only possible, but commonplace. With the explosion of the information age and the openness and ease of communications afforded by the Internet, international online dating has become a multi-billion dollar a year industry, with millions of men and women participating in it. Women in Greece are now enjoying the time they spend online with men in Ottawa, and men in St. Louis are forging meaningful and rewarding relationships with women in the Ukraine.
Experience the difference without (really) changing language, date across the Atlantic.
As with any other form of romantic relationship building, international dating brings with it new and, in some cases, unfamiliar challenges. While it is true that people all over the world share common needs and desires, people from different cultures possess different customs and belief systems and, in some cases, process information differently. Assuming, for instance, that forging a relationship with a woman in Moscow is going to be exactly the same as charming a girl from Cleveland is probably not going to work out terribly well. Below are a few things to keep in mind as you hit the international online dating scene.
They are enjoying their differences.
Language Differences: Obviously if you find yourself an online dating interest from an English speaking country (assuming, of course, that your primary language is English) then this shouldn’t be an issue, but what about if your interest – to use our above example – is a woman in Moscow? Basically, most people who look into international online dating will be able to speak English at some level, but their proficiency with the language will vary greatly. The key to meaningful communication is to make certain that, until you are sure of how well a woman understands English, you keep things fairly basic. Avoid using long, complex words or sentences to express your thoughts to begin with, because there is every chance that if you don’t you will spend as much time explaining yourself as you will getting to know the woman. Be patient, and be prepared to explain what you mean when asked – and also be prepared to help her ‘find the right words’. Open communication and clear dialogue is essential to building any romantic relationship online.
One thing you should always avoid at first is “text speak”, until you are very comfortable with the woman you are communicating with. “LOL, “BRB” “BBIAB” and other such examples are certainly common enough in the states, but unless the woman you are communicating with is familiar with them, they will seem like gibberish – and could even serve to lower her first (or second, or third) impression of you. Additionally, you will want to keep your use of slang to a minimum at first. If the woman has only remedial or even intermediate English skills, she is likely not to have mastered even frequently used slang terms as yet.
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